Happy Thursday, geeks and freaks! Thanks for the all the recent emails. I am touched by your kindness. (Though I’d rather be touched by your cash! Send me some dough and buy some damn comics.)
Keep in mind you can ask to have your name withheld or abbreviated. So don’t worry about anyone finding out you need my worldly advice; we’ll keep it between us, ‘kay?
Let’s get right to the letters:
Why is it I can’t find any original art to your lousy books online or at conventions or even from dealers? When I ask for Bru-Hed art, they either call security or spit in my face. What gives?
Hey, Big A.–
Sorry, dude, but for some reason (dumb I’m sure), Pascale doesn’t sell his comic art. He keeps it locked up in his closet with his skeletons and frilly lingerie. (He asked me not to tell anyone about the bustiers and teddies; not to mention the leather jumpsuits with the straws at the knees, so don’t say anything.) Personally, I think it’s because he thinks he’s Steve Ditko and hopes to use each page as a coaster someday when he’s a recluse.
Who’s the hottest babe in comics these days? I need inspiration.
Hoaur Nee Wang
Great question. Do you mean real person or character? I think Emma Frost is smokin’, but Power Girl has that bodacious bod that makes every fan keep some of Kleenex in a long box. And Phantom Lady rocks it old school. Toon-wise, Veronica still has it. Tough choice.
As for hottest gal in the bizness, I really haven’t seen them all. Send me pics, preferably in bikinis or skin-tight workout clothes. Feel free to pass my email (email@example.com) to any attractive ladies you meet at cons.
What’s the best way to frame the cool commissions I get from Wednesday’s Heroes? I want to make my boring walls come alive. But not with termites.
Matt–don’t be bored.
I talked to a few experts. For b/w art, use a simple black frame with a nice white or black matte (use the opposite of the art–if it’s mostly black, use a white matte. And vicey-versey). Or if there’s at a good inch or two of border around the art, you can get away with no matte. No reason to go crazy. If it’s a color piece, there are two schools of thought (neither of which I attended):
One is to pick a color that’s used throughout the art and use that as a matte. It will make that part (the main part) of the art “pop”.
The other is to use the same or similar color of your walls. That way, if you have a lot of pieces on the same wall, the mattes blend in with the wall and the art really stands out.
Me, I just use thumbtacks or push pins. Cheap and they work.
Crap, just room for one more question. But it’s a doozy:
Dear Beer Abby:
How do you feel about abortion?
Kurious in Kansas
Heavy question, Kurious.
First, use spellcheck. Second, thanks for not shying away from heavy questions. That’s what I’m here for.
Regarding abortion, I think it should apply to those in politics and be retroactive to age 60 or so. Or they can “choose life” and go to prison for 100 years. The government shouldn’t tell a legislature what to do with its body. Only the people should!
See, gang? I give straight answers. That controversial crap is easy to handle if you got the smarts like me.
What else you got?
Send your questions, worship and Quizno’s coupons to: BeerAbby@schismcomics.com.