BEER ABBY 34: Fracking Moebius, Three Stooges Movie and Sore Throat Suggestions April 19, 2012 – Posted in: Beer Abby, Blog, Featured Columns

©2012 All Ages Media

 

A big fat Hello to all you big fat fans (and the few small skinny ones) out there in Web land! Your pal Bru-Hed is here again to help you thru the good times, bad times and end times. Hope you survived tax day okay and have some money left over to buy some cool stuff for yourself and yer loved ones (like my awesome trade paperback collection–just a suggestion)! Anyway, let’s get to your Q & A–always free–right now:

 

Beer Abby:
Dear you hear about the recent passing of Jean Giraud, aka Moebius, France’ greatest comics artist? What was your favorite strip of his? He did everything from Azarach to westerns to HEAVY METAL to the Silver Surfer.

Jean Jacques Jeanty and John T. Plumaret
Paris, France

Dear guys:
Sorry to hear about that. Pascale tells me he was an exceptional storyteller, colorist and inker. Don’t know anything about that. I just know he drew some nice-looking topless chicks but I never read his stuff because most of it was in French and I don’t know any French (other than “I surrender”). I did really like when he teamed up with Spider-Man as “The Living Vampire”–that was a really cool story.

 

Hey Bru:

So what did you think of the new THREE STOOGES movie? I’m guessing you’re a fan of the originals like any real man is.

Moses Horwitz
NYC, NY

Hey, Moe:
I got three woids for ya: N’yuk n’yuk n’yuk!! Great flick. Laughed my ass off. Not only did the actors totally “get” the Stooges, they acted and sounded so much like them I thought I was watching a lost movie. But the biggest reason to see it–actually four big reasons–is Sofia Vergara and Kate Upton!! Super-stacked Sofia wears a bunch of different low-cut, obscenely tight dresses (I swear with no undies, either!) that perfectly display her um, “assets” (and–titsets? Is that a word?). And tho Kate is dressed like a penguin–I mean a nun–for almost the whole film, she does give you a good minute at the end in a jaw-dropping, bone-rising bikini that really shows off her super pillows of fun. Oh yeah, and the slapstick is awesome. I want the DVD already!!

 

Beer Abby–
What do you recommend to help a sore throat? Mine feels like I gargled with razor blades.

Rick Ola
Luden, Sweden

Dear Rick–
Nice to hear from your part of the world. Love yer meatballs (the kind ya eat, I mean.) As for sore throats, they don’t need any hel but you obviously do since you have one. Most docs will tell you to gargle with warm salt water, but who lives that close to a tropical island to get it out of the ocean on a hot day? I prefer to use very warm water out of the faucet, and mix in some ground ginger. Maybe a half teaspoon per half cup–I don’t measure, I just sprinkle it in till the water turns kinda brown, then stir it up. Every hour or so, as much or as little as ya need.

You can also drink warm ginger ale, but the carbonation might sting. Better is ginger tea with honey and lemon in it, or lemon tea with honey and ginger in it. Licorice root is good too–there’s a tea form or use a licorice stick (a real one, not a friggin’ Twizzler, which is just corn syrup and sugar). Honey feels great, but remember it’s very sweet and has a lot of calories.

Warm liquids work better than cold because they stimulate blood flow with helps keep yer throat lubricated. (Can ya tell I got this from a doc? The only blood flow I know of is helped with Viagra!) Throat drops and such are okay but try to keep them sugar-free since sugar tends to restrict blood flow.

I also read that singers use a few drops of something called bee propolis. They say it tastes awful but works wonders in a couple hours, but I’ve never tried it. Apparently only found in certain health food stores.

Now in extreme cases, when it really feels like a chain saw against yer throat every time ya swallow, you can gargle with sesame oil or the equivalent. Tastes like liquid death but man, it sure lubes you right up. Just remember to spit it all out! Nasty.

Hope that helps!

 

Dear Mr. Hed:

I read that the US has discovered enough oil to last another 50 years, without having to import any from the Middle East. It’s already responsible for thousands of new jobs for Americans and means tens of thousands more. All we need is more fracking (horizontal drilling using high-pressure fluids) to get it out of the ground. There hasn’t been any concrete evidence that it’s unsafe, and the industry has taken all precautions to make it safe, which is in their best interest. Yet some environmental groups are already trying to prevent it, keeping us dependent on foreign oil. As a regular guy in touch with regular Americans, what do you think about fracking and our need for oil?

Sincerely,
Rex Drillerson, Phyllis Driller and Dr. Drill McGraw
Ecchson Oil Co.
Bakken, ND
Dear oil folks:
Wow, it took three of you to write one email? With all the dough you guys make, I’d figger you could afford to have a secretary do it for you. Whatever. As for fracking, I don’t know nothin’ about how safe or unsafe it is. All I do know is I’m for anything that lowers fracking gas prices, gives Americans more fracking jobs and gets us off of the fracking Middle East oil teat! I say those fracking tree-huggers should buzz off or just move to fracking Arabia. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Sorry, got carried away. One more:

 

Hey Bru-hed–
Wasn’t the Jennifer Lawrence in HUNGER GAMES the same one in X-MEN FIRST CLASS? Which had a better acting performance?

Len Maltin
Serious, CA

Hey Len–
Yep, that’s the same babe that played the blue teen-age Mystique. As for which one is better, well, she looked pretty much naked as Mystique and wore mostly baggy clothes as Katniss. Which one do you think is better? Gimme a break! I’m hoping the X-MEN DVD comes with a free jar of Albolene.

Ahem. Well, that’s about all for this week…I gotta go, um, take care of somethin’ that’s just come up. Later!

 

All the bestest,
Bru

 

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DISCLAIMER: Bru-Hed is not a licensed speech therapist but is a mass debater. No advice is given or implied unless it’s met with funny sound effects. All information herein is meant for entertainment and angering Francophile purposes only. Any material sent to us becomes the property of Schism Comics and All Ages Media, and will be considered for publication. No guarantees unless you send original Moebius sketches or copies of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 101-102. We reserve the right to edit all letters for space and humor, and insert any of the latter if you’re from Quebec. Bru-Hed created by Mike Pascale. Artwork by M.P. and/or Dean Armstrong. Nothing may be reproduced in any way by you or Jacques Cousteau. Contents copyright 2012 All Ages Media/Mike Pascale. “Bru-Hed, Americaís Favorite Blockhead” and all likenesses thereof are trademarks of Schism Comics/All Ages Media. Can’t believe it took ten friggin’ years to get bruhed.com back where it belongs. Woo hoo!

 

 

 

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