May I say happy May to all you kids, guys and gals out there in spring cyber-land! If April showers bring Mayflowers, I hope you all get a boatload of smelly, disease-ridden pilgrims showing up in an old Plymouth full of rocks. Or whatever. Let’s start off the month with some new emails:
Beer Abby: What did you think of the huge NFL draft last weekend?
R. Goodell Canton, OH
Zzzzz….Huh? Wha? Oh sorry, you woke me up. What was the question?
Hey Bru-Hed– What did you think of Luck going to the Colts?
Charles Pagano Indianapolis, IN
The Colts lost the best QB of the last ten years. That’s not luck in my book! Hope the rookie does well, but how good have #1 pick QBs done over the years? Let’s see: David Carr, Tim Couch, Jeff George, JaMarcus Russell…
Dear Bru: I think I have a wart on my penis. Should I let the doctor burn it off?
F. Gump Greenbow, AL
Dude, two words that should NEVER appear in the same sentence are “burn” and “penis.” You need to see a new doc. And stop writing me.
Beer Abby: What will you be looking for on Free Comic Book Day this Saturday?
Joe Fan Comicshop, NY
If the ratio of men to women is anything smaller than 4 to 1!
Dear Mr. Hed– Will you be seeing THE AVENGERS movie in IMAX 3D?
R. Gelfond NY, NY
Dear Mr. Gelfond–
Only if I win the lottery and can afford the ridiculous ticket price! For $20 I can get a ticket to the flick in 2D and have money left over for popcorn and beer. (And a sock to hide the beer in…)
Well, whaddaya know? We’re out of time already. Dang, and I was just gettin’ into a groove. Or maybe that’s just the butt-wear in my recliner. Anyway, make sure you fine geeks get some free comics at your LOCAL comic shop on Saturday either before or after you check out the Avengers flick and butter your own popcorn after seeing Scarlett Johansen in skin-tight spandex! (Just make sure you’re not sitting behind me.)
DISCLAIMER: Bru-Hed is not a licensed dermatologist or demagogue. No advice is given or implied unless it actually works. All information herein is meant for entertainment and childish giggle purposes only. Any material sent to us becomes the property of Schism Comics and All Ages Media, and will be considered for publication. No guarantees unless you send a copy of every FCBD book. We reserve the right to edit all letters for space and humor, and insert any of the latter if you’re a DC fan. Bru-Hed created by Mike Pascale. Artwork by M.P. and/or Dean Armstrong. Nothing may be reproduced in any way by you without express written consent of the NFL. Contents copyright 2012 All Ages Media/Mike Pascale. “Bru-Hed”, “America’s Favorite Blockhead” and all likenesses thereof are trademarks of Schism Comics/All Ages Media. Pascale is an idiot for paying $19 to see a superhero movie on a giant screen and wear uncomfortable dark glasses over his regular ones. Take pity on him.