Hey and hay, comic cattle! How goes it? Hope you had a great week. Actually, I hope you had a lousy week so more of you can ask me how to make it a great one. ‘Cause that’s what ‘m here for.
Dear Beer Abby,
Mac or Windows?
Jet City, WA
Hey, Gates- crasher,
I’ll be P.C. and say, today we’re all Macs. Tomorrow, back to your corners.
Like the guy that wrote in a couple weeks ago, I also lost my ass in the market. What should I do?
Try standing up more.
How many artists does it take to change one of those new compact florescent light bulbs?
Actually, it only takes one, because once you break those things, the mercury gas will probably kill you. Since artists are sleep-deprived and clumsy, one is all it takes.
(The FDA has a whole page full of precautions, like not standing closer than a foot away, for those damn things: If you break one, you have to follow the EPA guidelines for a mercury spill!
What the hell is that all about?)
And by the way, if you think I’m gonna let the stupid government tell ME what bulbs I can friggin’ buy, you’re more nuts than a jar of cashews! I’m as cheap as the next guy but I’d rather be alive and cancer-free than use those damn things to save a couple bucks. Ugh. What country am I living in?
What’s the best type of pencil to use when drawing cool comics?
Go with the flow and use what works best. Pascale says if it’s too hard it will dig lines into the paper (especially if you draw as hard as a gorilla like he does); too soft and it will leave all kinds of dust and you’ll spend more time sharpening than drawing. He says any from 2H to B work fine. Not that it really matters, because you won’t be able to break in to the business anyway! Ha!
Dear Mr. Hed–
What did you think of Ashton Kutcher replacing Charlie Sheen in Two-And-A-Half Men?
Beverly Hills, CA
Nice to hear from ya, Chuck.
Sheen was a whacked-out wizard warlock and had to go. But his character was more than half that show. Kutcher was funny on That 70s Show but that ain’t your show. I’m afraid the Fonz has left the ramp on this one.
My girlfriend and I had a blast at Comic-Con this summer. (Well, I had a blast. She just put up with it as it’s not her thing.) Now she wants to drag me to a Broadway-type play. How boring and lame! She says I’ll dig it but there are NO superheroes, explosions or fight scenes. Dumb. What should I do?
Hey, Oblivious in Ohio–
I hate plays as every red-blooded straight guy does. But dude, if she’s not a fan but still went to CC with you and put up with 125,000 sweaty, smelly geeks for four or five days? Come on, you can sit thru a few hours of singing costumes and pretend you like it. Plus, think of the points you’ll earn for afterwards! (Assuming you know what to do, of course.) Suck it up!
Okay, last one:
Dear Beer Abby:
What do you think of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?”
Don’t ask me and I won’t tell you what to do in private. In public, though, I want you to ask everyone to tell you how great I am!
That’s all for now, homies. Click the CONTACT link at the top o’ this page and ask away!
DISCLAIMER: Bru-Hed is not a licensed therapist or artist. He’s just a comic guy. All information herein is meant for hopeful entertainment and veiled promotional purposes only. All material sent to the address above becomes the property of Schism Comics and All Ages Media, and may be considered for publication. No guarantees unless you send free stuff. We reserve the right to edit all letters for space and hilarity. Bru-Hed created by Mike Pascale. Artwork by M.P. and/or Dean Armstrong. Nothing may be reproduced in any unless you give us kudos and links! Contents copyright 2011 All Ages Media/Mike Pascale. “Bru-Hed”, “America’s Favorite Blockhead” and all likenesses thereof are trademarks of Schism Comics/All Ages Media. Always wipe front to back