Beer Abby #9 October 27, 2011 – Posted in: Beer Abby, Blog, Featured Columns
Hello to all you red-blooded, white-knuckled and blue-balled men out there! (And all three of you gorgeous women.) It’s your favorite beer-bellied Bandaras here again to make sense of your life and steer you like a damaged Yugo to the garage of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wackiness. And beer. Lots of beer.
Now let’s get to it:
What’s up with the Three Musketeers? They don’t even use muskets! Shouldn’t they be called the Three Swordsmen?
Good point. But you’re askin’ the wrong guy. I’m lucky I can even remember their names–and that other guy’s. I think it’s Athos, Porthos, Lactose and Intolerance. But I could be wrong.
What happened to Netflix stock? It dropped sixty percent in a month!
Maybe they tried using their own lame streaming service and got as frustrated with it as I did!
What did you think of the recent flap over 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh’s post-game “slap and handshake” behavior?
A Lions fan
Actually, Pascale said it best in one of his Game BUZZ! strips:
Should I be concerned about all the problems and unrest in Europe?
No, you should be concerned about all the problems and unrest here.
I’m thinking of joining the Occupy Wall Street protest. What do you think of their efforts?
I’d 86 that 99 percent B.S. If you want to protest, go to the source, Washington, D.C. (Douchebag Central). None of the stuff on WS could have happened without gov’t approval and lack of action in the first place! All those guys responsible–the CEOs of Countrywide, Washington Mutual, Fannie Mae, Wachovia and so forth–got off scott free. (And I don’t mean Mr. Miracle.) None o’ those yahoos in Congress or the SEC went after them. No charges, no punishment, nothin’. Get yer facts straight and get goin’.
My wife complains that I always leave the toilet seat up. How do I break myself of the habit?
Whipped in Witchita
You don’t. You break your wife of the habit of nagging you. How? By pointing out it takes more effort to put the damn seat back up every time you have to use it than it does for her to put it down! It’s called gravity. And getting along.
What are you going to be for Halloween?
I’ll be full of candy and beer, as usual!
Okay, kiddos, one last one:
Don’t remember where, but I heard you are going to be at a comic convention. True?
Long Beach, CA
You heard partially right. My goofy artist/writer guy, Pascale, will be at the Long Beach Comic-Con THIS weekend, October 29 and 30, and will have some Bru material to sell you. He’ll be there with crapmaster Craig and Dynamite Dave Gutierrez, sketchin’ and sellin’ his hairy little hands for you. Keep in mind it’s Halloween weekend, so he might give you free stale candy. [I can confirm, we WILL be handing out candy to anyone in costume (while supplies last!) -Craig]
Also, he’ll be a guest on the awesome Fandom Planet podcast! Hosted by comic comics Tim Powers and Sax Carr (no, those aren’t porn names.) We’ll have a link to it next week if he doesn’t embarrass himself or get fined by the FCC.
This is Pascale’s first West Coast con setup in over a decade! (That’s ten years to you an’ me.) So stop by and shake his hand. (Just be sure to wash it afterwards. I don’t know where he’s been.) When you see him, try not to scream; that’s not a mask.
For more details on the show, check out their site.
That’s it for now, you Happy Halloweiners! Enjoy your candy and brew. But save some for me!
DISCLAIMER: Bru-Hed is not a licensed psychoanalyst, just an analist (he’s an ass). All information herein is meant for entertainment and semi-political purposes only. All material sent to us becomes the property of Schism Comics and All Ages Media, and will be considered for publication. No guarantees unless you send free 1960s paperbacks. We reserve the right to edit all letters for space and comedy. Bru-Hed created by Mike Pascale. Artwork by M.P. and/or Dean Armstrong. Nothing may be reproduced in any unless you give us credit, a link and a smile. This crap ain’t easy! Contents copyright 2011 All Ages Media/Mike Pascale. “Bru-Hed”, “America’s Favorite Blockhead” and all likenesses thereof are trademarks of Schism Comics/All Ages Media. Is anyone reading this??