Bru’s Reviews – HITMAN AGENT 47 HITS OVER .500 August 25, 2015 – Posted in: Bru's Reviews

By Bru-Hed
All original written content is (c) 2015 Mike Pascale. Visual content is (c) its respective owners. Bru-Hed is a trademark of All Ages Media and Mike Pascale.

NEWBIES: If this is your first trip here (welcome!), here’s the QT on what these reviews are.

THIS WEEK: The big-screen version of the popular shooter video game about one of the last remaining members of a group of enhanced humans programmed to be assassins. BRUS-REVIEWS-BUTTON

Since the program was shut down, a big, evil syndicate run by a mean evil dude is searching for the original program’s vanished inventor to revive it. Meanwhile, a young woman with weird issues searches for an old man she’s somehow connected to, and the title character searches for two targets for a contract by an Asian hottie we barely see. In the process, most meet up together for a party with a lot of bullets and blood…And I mean a lot.
Screenplay by Skip Woods and Michael Finch, story by Woods. Directed by Aleksander Bach.

 

 

 

 

 

PROS:

  • I haven’t played the game so I can’t compare. The actor (Rupert Friend) does resemble the game guy, but has a more “human” look if that makes sense. Just as a character, he was cool (in both sense of the word). But gamers may think he’s too “bookish” and not “soulless” enough like the game character. The chick and the old guy were good actors.

gallery-hitman3-gallery-image

  • True to the trailer: lots and lots of gunplay and fights. Every action flick has them, so now I look for interesting or unique ways they’re handled. This was pretty good; had some choreography I hadn’t seen in others. Nothing as crazy as say, KINGSMAN SECRET SERVICE, but enough to be entertaining and cause some “Wow!” moments.

Olyphant Agent 47 comparison

  • Same above with the main car chase and big explosion scene. Shame it’s with an Audi instead of the Lambos shown in the garage, but they had to fit a character in the back seat, so that limited the choices. Nicely shot.
  • If you saw the preview with the scene in the interrogation room, you saw one of the better and most memorable ones; but there are others too. The facility invasion sequence is pretty badass. Lots of creative kills and gun use.

Agent 47

  • Decent backstory/plot. With any assassin, there has to be some kind of cause and motivation. Though there was some exposition in the beginning, there were still a lot of pieces to be filled and most were. I liked the way they brought the girl’s story into his and went on from there.
  • I so want bullet-proof skin.

Zachary Quinto - Agent 47

  • Spock kicks butt! Zack Quinto plays a different type of (human) agent and has to battle 47 a few times, each one getting more intense and crazy. And he always gives a good performance.
  • That Pascale jerk is more into architecture than I am, but even I could tell the Singapore backdrop was pretty freakin’ cool. Some really unique and awesome-looking buildings, stuff that you rarely see in other movies.
  • Unlike some other “potential franchise launchers,” the ending here sets up a sequel/series in a good way.

 

 

 

Agent 47 one sheet

CONS:

  • The main bad guy (Thomas “Baron Strucker” Kretschmann) is like Bond villain lite. I’ve seen him in other stuff and he’s a decent enough actor, but they just didn’t give him enough to make him memorable. (For one thing, he supposedly never leaves his bullet-proof office, like, ever. And has guards with him 24-7. Gotta be a good story behind that wackiness.)
  • If yer at all squeamish regarding blood and people getting shot, you’ll be turning away a lot. Some pretty gruesome kills, although the gore isn’t really too much and the camera doesn’t linger.

Audi RS7 - Agent 47

  • The main babe (Hannah Ware) has smaller boobies than I do, and we never get any nudity anywhere, not even undies shots. Boo! Remember Bru’s Rule: for ever 10 dead bodies shown, you gotta have one nekkid boob or butt.
  • The plot was slow to develop and got a bit confusing. Took about an hour into it to figure out who was who and who was after who (whom? Whatever) and why.
  • There’s a button during the main end titles that’s pretty lame. First, I barely remember who the character is (still not entirely sure as it wasn’t a major one), and two, it’s similar to one you’ve seen in a dozen other films dating back a few decades. Nothing after the credits either.

 

OVERALL RATING:

BruRating_RentItRGBRENT IT.

I wasn’t expecting much so I wasn’t disappointed. It’s from a video game, okay? How many movies based on games have you seen that rocked your world? MORTAL KOMBAT, PRINCE OF PERSIA, MAX PAYNE, NEED FOR SPEED, even TOMB RAIDER—they’re fun rides at best. Even RESIDENT EVIL, which built a decent-sized franchise, is basically a one-dimensional amusement park ride with zombies, bullets, gore and explosions. That’s fine with me! But don’t expect anything deep and memorable; just enjoy the bullets and duck when you have to.

Later,
Bru

 

P.S.: Want some bullets and blood for yer wall? Get an ORIGINAL ART commission! Cool stuff at a cooler price. Pascale can do pretty much anything. Just ask Craig here!

 

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Wednesday’s Heroes, Mike Pascale, the Syndicate, the Mob, the Collective, the Organization, hitmen, assassins, or anyone else who rubs out people. Bru is too busy rubbing out other things to want to offend anyone.

 

 

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