Bru’s Reviews – THE HITMAN’S BODYGUARD KILLS August 22, 2017 – Posted in: Blog, Bru's Reviews

 

By Bru-Hed
All original written content is (c) 2017 Mike Pascale. Visual content is (c) its respective owners. Bru-Hed art is ©2012 and a trademark of All Ages Media and Mike Pascale.

NEWBIES: If this is your first trip here (welcome!), here’s the QT on what these reviews are.

THIS WEEK: Michael Bryce (Ryan “Deadpool//Green Lantern” Reynolds) is a straight-laced, bitter, down-on-his-luck former “triple-A-rated personal protection agent” who’s called in by his ex-girlfriend CIA agent (Elodie “Elektra” Yung) to guard and transport proficient-but-good-natured hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel “Nick Fury” Jackson) to serve as a star witness against a ruthless European dictator (Gary “Commissioner Gordon” Oldman) in exchange for letting the hitman’s badass wife Sonia (Salma “Kitty Softpaws” Hayek) out of prison…and hijinks ensue.


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Written by Tom O’Connor. Directed by Patrick “EXPENDABLES 3” Hughes.

 

 

PROS:

  • As a comedy, it’s actually funny. The gags aren’t forced, the dialog is fun and snappy, the interplay between the two main characters is hilarious and the situations are funny without being stupid. (Best scenes: the nun bus, the flashback of how Jackson and Hayek met, and Reynolds ranting to a booze street vendor while chaos goes on around him.)
  • As an action flick, it delivers. Plenty of gun battles, hand-to-hand combat, a couple car (and motorcycle and boat) chases (with lots of shooting) and several explosions.

  • Casting is spot-on. Reynolds shows he’s not just a smart ass; for once he’s the stiff straight man and he plays off Jackson’s character well. Jackson is foul-mouthed fun (as always) but not the serious badass he usually is—you’ll never see an assassin who enjoys life as much as his character. And Selma “Hottie” Hayek is not only still smokin’, she really hams it up as a potty-mouthed baddie stuck in jail, delivering some great lines. Oldman is one of the few serious characters, and he plays the mad dictator with his usual quiet, believable sociopathic intensity. The actors must have had a great time making this, and it shows.

  • Some really great cinematography and shots. POV stuff during the chases and other setups are really cool and bring you right into the action, as well as the reactions of the characters.
  • The story, though simple, is good. There are still a couple good twists/reveals I didn’t see coming (and one I did, like the Interpol mole), and there’s a love story and personal redemption thrown in as well. If yer like me and see it for the laughs and thrills, you’ll get a bonus “real” story.

  • Chemistry between (and the situations with) Jackson and Reynolds are reminiscent of Robert DeNiro and Charles Grodin in MIDNIGHT RUN or Eddie Murphy and Judge Reinhold in BEVERLY HILLS COP.
  • Great ending. Both the actual ending and the comeuppance of the baddie (which is all-too rare as you know if you’re a regular reader.) Bonus at the end of the credits is one outtake with Reynolds.

 



 

CONS:

  • This might go for a record number of uses of the term “MF-er”; plus the F-word and cursing overall is off the charts, so if you’re at all sensitive to that kinda thing, stay home.
  • Suspension Of Disbelief Dept.: Several instances of near-misses, perfect timing, cheap last-second suspense, Wolverine-type wound-enduring, superhero-strong punch-taking and so on, but no more than you’d expect from any action flick, and since this is played mostly for laughs, all are perfectly tolerable.

  • There are a couple scenes of torture and mentions of genocide that get pretty heavy, but they’re fleeting and fit the story overall.
  • With all the F-bombs and violence, we should have got to see at least a naked heinie or side-boob shot or something! Even Selma in a bra would have been good. But just cleavage and tight-jeans from behind. *sigh*.

 

OVERALL RATING:

See It

SEE IT!

Maybe it’s not the classic that those other two “Unlikely traveling pair” films were, but this is still just a lot of fun with a good story to boot. Definitely on par with the Jackie Chan & Chris Tucker RUSH HOUR flicks, though in a different way. Because of the chases and action scenes, this works fine on the big screen. But you can enjoy the humor and story on the small. Just check it out, mutha-f****r!

 

Later,
Bru

 

P.S.: Speaking of Deadpool, Green Lantern and boobs, how about an original art piece for you or a friend? Get something cool and reasonably priced now!  Just ask Craig here!

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed by Bru-Hed are not necessarily those of Wednesday’s Heroes, Mike Pascale, the CIA, Interpol, hired assassins, AAA-rated bodyguards, and foul-mouthed convicts. Bru-Hed gladly offers his services to protect your beers. He guarantees his work because he drinks all you have, keeping it safe from poachers!

 

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