Bru’s Reviews – KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE RULES! February 24, 2015 – Posted in: Blog, Bru's Reviews, Featured Columns

 

By Bru-Hed
All original written content is (c) 2015 Mike Pascale. Visual content is (c) its respective owners. Bru-Hed is a trademark of All Ages Media and Mike Pascale.

NEWBIES: If this is your first trip here (welcome!), here’s the QT.

THIS WEEK: Another comic-book adaptation, this one from the twisted mind of Mark Millar and the guy who drew WATCHMEN, Dave Gibbons. Colin Firth (THE KING’S SPEECH, who neither stutters nor swears here) is an agent of a super-secret spy org (duh) who recruits a newbie (Taron Egerton) to help pay back his Dad as well as get him out of a lousy London life–all while battling a lisping Nick Fury (Samuel Jackson) and his knives-for-legs babe (out for world domination. Hoo boy!
Written by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn from the comic book SECRET SERVICE by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons. Directed by Matthew Vaughn.

 

Kingsman poster

 

PROS:

  • Action, action, action! There are plenty of talky parts, as the Brits might say, but when the action scenes hit, they punch you in the face almost as hard as Firth and co. punch the baddies. If you like fights and blood, you’ll wet yer pants with this. The church scene is a ballet of brutality you’ll remember long after you leave. (Tarantino would be proud if not envious.)

kingsman-churchscene

  • Speaking of fights, the choreography was the best I’ve seen in a while–this has to be in the top ten all-time as far as choreographed fight scenes. Probably top five! Wonderful stunt work overall too.
  • Casting/acting is superb (with one exception–see Cons below); Mark Strong is like “Q” in James Bond, Michael Caine is like “M”, and you can never go wrong with a bunch of Brits in a spy flick.
  • Lots of references to other spy movies, so it never takes itself seriously. Plenty of in-jokes and good comedic lines.

Kingsman_Gazelle_R05_01d

  • Deadly-sexy Gazelle (Sofia Boutella) is way hotter than Tom Brady’s lady with the similar name. But if yer a “leg man,” you better be careful because she can slice you in half if she wraps those gams around you! Ridiculously impractical and illogical, of course, but it looks wild on screen.
  • Like a Bond flick (or an episode of TV’s GET SMART!, which is also referenced), there are a bunch of ultra-cool “I want one of those!” spy gadgets, ranging from useful to lethal.
"He'll get bigger, right?"

“He’ll get bigger, right?”

  • Love the dogs.
  • Plenty of spellbinding suspense and thrills, even if you know what’s going to end up happening. But there are a few nice twists at least, most during the training.
  • The princess of Sweden is hot! Nice butt too. Wish we saw more.

kingsman-secret-service princess-joke

  • The CG effects are subtle but well done. Think of all those crowd scenes and what happens–looks real!
  • Commentary/satire on today’s tech society and its major weakness. If you want to really conquer the world, offer free Net access!
  • Definitely could be a franchise with further adventures of the kid, new recruits, other agents, and so on.

 

 

Sam Jackson as Russell Simmons

 

 

CONS:

  • No idea what braintrust decided to give Sam Jackson a lisp/sloppy “s”, but it was horrible. Unconvincing (not consistent with the same words) and extremely distracting. Maybe with an unknown actor it would have been more believable. But every time he was on screen, I couldn’t help thinking, “It’s Sam Jackson talking like Sylvester the cat.” Took me out of the movie completely. WTF where they thinking? As Bond-type villains go, one of the lamest. Great concept, though.

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  • Those looking for strong female heroes may be disappointed. The villain was great as mentioned and there was one female spy, but that’s it! And the spy wasn’t very confident or imposing on screen.
  • Same goes for non-whites. Apparently 98% of people in spy school and spy organizations are white as snow. I’ve never been to England, but there have to be at least a few educated Asians, blacks and Middle Easterners there, I’d guess.
  • I was majorly bummed at what happens to my favorite character. That’s all I’m sayin’.
  • Some of the wink-wink jokes to the audience might be too much for some. (One character actually says, “This ain’t that kind of movie.”) Corny? Forced? Your call.

kingsman-secret-service-trailer-breakdown-10

  • If you’re at all sensitive to hand-to-hand or gun violence, this ain’t fer you. Lots of people, bystanders and innocents, get slaughtered. Thankfully, some bullies do, too, but the ratio of badguys to regular folks is like 1 to 4.
  • Major suspension of disbelief is required, from the fight scenes to certain character behaviors. If you go in with a KILL BILL mindset, you shouldn’t mind too much.
  • Small button near beginning of end credits but nothing at the very end.

 

OVERALL RATING:

See It

 

SEE IT.

This is brutal beauty that should be seen on the super screen. The smart scripting and crisp acting along with the over-the-top visuals, stunts and fights make this a must-see if you’re any fan of the spy/action genre. This will probably be up there when lists of best spy movies are made in the future. Great example of a new twist on an old theme. If only they could re-dub the villain’s voice!

 

 

 

Later,
Bru

P.S.: Want your own art of a Swedish sexpot showing off? Or a super-spectacular spy fight? Super-hero? Monster? That Pascale can draw it for you, even make YOU or your pal as one of the characters. Just ask Craig here!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Wednesday’s Heroes, Mike Pascale, spies, Brits, Bond-villains, or people-with-weapons-for-limbs. As a misanthrope, Bru wants to get the sequences of people beating the crap out of each other on a DVD. He’s hoping Apple or Amazon get the idea that Sam Jackson had so they can cull the population Bru can have access to more free beer!

 

 

 

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