All original written content is (c) 2014 Mike Pascale. Visual content is (c) its respective owners. Bru-Hed is a trademark of All Ages Media and Mike Pascale.
THIS WEEK: MY type of movie! Competition for the FAST AND FURIOUS franchise?
The big-screen adaptation of the popular Electronic Arts video game about ex-con Tobey Marshall racing across the country to compete in a secret race against his evil arch-rival in a tale of revenge and redemption. Screenplay by George Gatins, directed by Scott Waugh.
- Any movie that starts with a street race between a ’66 GTO, a ’68 396 Camaro and a ’69 Gran Torino is gonna be decent! Throw in two monster Mustangs (a custom Shelby and a brand new 2015 version) later on and musclecar freaks will be in high-performance heaven.
- Gearheads of all kinds rejoice! Supercar/Eurocar-cravers will also cream their jeans when they see a Lamborghini, McLaren, Saleen, Spano, Bugatti Veyron, and not one, but THREE different color Koenigseggs tearing up tarmac. (Just close your eyes when you see at least one of those beauties bite the dust. Or take comfort that they used replicas rather than the $2 million-and-over real things.) Meet the cars at this slideshow.
- Casting is pretty good. BREAKING BAD’s Aaron Paul does a great job of intense emoting while simultaneously doing the subdued angry guy bit. Batman fans will enjoy the whacky Michael Keaton character and Paul’s imitation of Christian Bale’s Dark Knight voice. The blond brit-chick (Imogen Poots–that’s really her name, not a description of what she does after woofing down a Taco Bell meal) is good, better than the brunette old girlfriend (see the CONS section for nudity quotient).
- Bad guy Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper) turns out to be one nasty villain; in terms of cold-bloodedness and lack of remorse, he’s up there with Doctor Doom, The Joker and Darth Vader. You really wanna knee him under the shift knob.
- Need speed? How about 234 miles an hour in a Mustang? Dang, I say! Crashes, bashes and smashes? This film trashes more metal and carbon fiber than a junkyard crusher. (Pardon the rhymes…my feet are Longfellows! HA!)
- Ladies will especially like the nekkid butt of one of the young himbos, whereas the (straight) guys will laugh at the way he quits his job. (Just like the stunts, don’t try this at home, kids.)
- Shot on location in some pretty cool places: Utah’s Bonneville Salt Flats, San Francisco, and the REAL Motor City, Detroit!
- Two of the best stunts in car-movie history…one involves gassing up, the other a hellicopter. That’s all I’m sayin’.
- Speakin of great car movies, there’s a quick-but-cool glimpse of BULLIT, the Steve McQueen classic that tops the list. Unlike the craziness of FAST AND FURIOUS, this one aims to stick closer to reality as far as physics goes (tho there are still some jaw-droppers. See next section.) There’s also a nice nod to the AMERICAN GRAFFITI cop-car scene.
- Very easy-to-follow, no-frills plot. If you’re a fan of the complex, twist-and-turn-type stories, this is probably not yer thing.
- No offense to best-Spider-Man-actor-ever Tobey Maguire, but “Tobey” is just not a tough-guy race-driver name.
- If we see a guy’s naked buns, we MUST see nude boobs. Movie law broken here. Not even bra-and-panties or bikini shots of the chickas. WTF?
- This type of flick attracts white trash like street trash attracts flies…including the family that sat behind me and gabbed while hanging their feet on the seats, and the punk kid who couldn’t shut off his beacon-bright cell phone. Ugh. Make sure you sit by yourself if possible!
- Let’s be honest: Anyone who’s driven on Detroit freeways or San Francisco bridges and streets knows you can’t get anywhere, let alone zoom by in a supercar without cops noticing. But you have to put that aside in these types of flicks or else they don’t get outta the driveway.
- Along those same lines, last time I checked, Mustangs have gas caps under the fuel filler doors. And MYTHBUSTERS already showed that chains break before axle-mounts do. Jus’ sayin’.
- If you’re a cop, you will not be pleased…cop cars get treated like tomatoes at a two-bit comedy club.
- Very easy-to-follow, no-frills plot. If you’re a fan of the complex, twist-and-turn-type stories, this is probably not yer thing. (Yep, that’s a good thing and a bad thing, depending on yer taste.)
One of my favorite this year. I liked NEED FOR SPEED better than the last couple FAST AND FURIOUS flicks. This reminds me of the “old-school” car movies, where most things are done in front of the camera with wheels rather than behind it with computers. Yeah, the story’s simple, but so is a NASCAR race, and look how many millions enjoy that! So put away your highbrow hat, put on some greasy overalls, and get some SPEED in yer veins–the kind that comes from cool cars!
P.S.: Pascale is a Detroit-born-boy hisself. He used to draw cars for a livin’, so if you want a portrait of your favorite ride (or your favorite fantasy car or character), just ask Craig for samples here!
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Wednesday’s Heroes, Mike Pascale, Ford Motor Company, General Motors or any other car-maker. The coolest thing Bru-Hed’s ever driven was an ice cream truck he once “borrowed” when it was really hot out.