This chapter also weaves a few related tales (some more than others) featuring Marv, exotic dancer Nancy, beau Hartigan and badass babes plus some new faces (and hot bods!).
Written by Frank Miller. Directed by Robert Rodriguez (who also shot and edited it) and Miller.
Just like the first one, it’s all about the visuals. Gimmicky to some, mandatory film school stuff to others. Just plain cool to me! Black-as-Snipes blacks and white-as-Bieber whites, with lipstick reds, ocean-deep blues and Eva Green-greens thrown in for eye candy you can chew.
More guns, swords, fists, shots, slices, punches, busted bones, beheadings, beatings, booze than before, plus buckets of blood oozng, dripping, flowing, squirting and spewing everywhere in both deep red and bright white. If yer into that stuff of course.
The dialog is the same Mickey Spillane-on-steroids tough-ass type as before, with manly metaphors and smart-ass slang and colorful cracks aplenty. Corny for some, cool for others. Mostly cool.
For straight guys: Jessica Alba dancing in tight fishnets on stage, Rosario Dawson in fishnets and a tight boob-presenting bustier, a totally nude (and screwed) Eva Green, plus a cute topless blond handcuffed to the bed! More T & A than any flick I’ve seen in a while. (Anything with Eva Green having sex is worth admission…though the scene here isn’t as hot and steamy as the one in 300: RISE OF THE EMPIRE, you get five times as much naked Eva for your dough. I’ll be buying this on DVD and wearing out the slo-mo and pause buttons on my remote.) Whether yer a boob, butt, leg or lips man, it’s all here!
For the ladies and gay guys: a naked Josh Brolin. No sausage but a couple rump-roast shots. (Straight guys avert yer eyes until Eva shows up again.)
For comic geeks: A couple appearances of Frank Miller, one sitting next to Marv in the bar, and the other talking at a table on the TV being watched by Nancy. Also an appearance by Miller’s former editor at Dark Horse, Bob Schreck, as someone named Mulgrew. And for those who care, Lady Gaga is a chick named Bertha, but for once she doesn’t stand out since she’s surrounded by better-looking dames and freakier characters.
Cool buildings, sets and cars. A Caddy, a Tucker, classic Vette and Mustang convertibles, and more!
Christopher Lloyd (TAXI, BACK TO THE FUTURE) makes a worthwhile return as a crazy, druggy doc. He should have his own series.
Fans of kick-ass babes get good stuff. (Don’t mess with Miho!) Beheading four dudes at once in mid-leap? Makes the Black Widow look like a ladybug.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt learned some mad card skillz for this! Great poker scenes.
Like the last one, forget about pinning down a time period. The cops drive ’55 Chevys but a detective drives a mid-70s Dodge sedan. Black-and-white TV. Modern plastic surgery advancements. No cell phones or computers but lots of uzis. And a high-powered crossbow.
Similarly, suspend the old disbelief in physics. The surgery mentioned above is nothing short of a Star Trek miracle. Two shotguns beat out four fully automatics. Magical crossbow arrows. Japanese swords cut through muscle and bone like a ginsu through lemons–not just once or twice, but repeatedly, in a single motion! But hey, it looks cool as hell so you won’t care.
Hard to accept the Allstate commercial guy as a badass. Good actor but no Michael Clark Duncan or Kevin Grievoux.
Pulling out an eye with bare hands, then a close up. Make sure you’re not eating grapes. Torture/operation scenes and dismembered body parts may be tough for some.
Guessing some misguided feminist types might gripe about all the semi-nekkid and nekkid women (all of whom are young hotties), but in fact, it’s the guys who come out looking the worst. Every one of them is comically (pun intended) gullible and absurdly manipulated by anything with boobs and lips. (I would be too, of course, but that’s beside the point.)
Jessica Alba and Rosario Dawson still don’t do nude scenes, at least not here. *sigh*
Roark is one of the meanest, most hateful screen villains around, and not easy to look at. In fact, most of the guys aren’t easy to look at (and those that are don’t stay that way thanks to their battle wounds), and there aren’t many to root for, though more than the first installment had.
No cool stuff during or after the credits.
I didn’t pay extra fer 3D so I can’t comment on it. But it wuz a big-screen bonanza. As long as you can get past the brutality and blood, you’ll have a great time. And if yer a red-blooded, reg’lar dude like me, you’ll need the DVD to savor all the sex—um, I mean sfx. Like making-of docs and such. Yeah, that’s it!
P.S.: Pascale can draw hot babes too and spends more time on them than Mr. Miller. Black-and-white or color or limited color. Plus cool rides and tough dudes. Get a commission and treat yourself. Just ask Craig here!
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Wednesday’s Heroes, Mike Pascale, the comics industry, men, women or Marv. Free commission to the first one who sets Bru up on a date with any of the Sin City babes!