Bru’s Reviews – TOMB RAIDER RESURRECTS TO PLUNDER ANEW March 19, 2018 – Posted in: Blog, Bru's Reviews – Tags: , , , , , ,

By Bru-Hed
All original written content is (c) 2018 Mike Pascale. Visual content is (c) its respective owners. Bru-Hed art is ©2012 and a trademark of All Ages Media and Mike Pascale.

THIS WEEK:

Because we don’t get enough reboots, Warner Bros. and MGM give us an “updated” version of video game adventure queen/action badass Lara Croft, last played by a forgotten actress named Angelina Jolie all the way back in the pre-iPhone times of 2003. This time, Alicia Vikander (EX MACHINA, JASON BOURNE, et al.) is an English bike messenger/courier who decides to search for her Dad (Dominic West) who left years ago to pursue the legend of a Japanese death queen and never returned. Adventure, treachery, discovery, impossible stunts and wild special effects ensue.

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Written by Geneva Robertson-Dworet and Alastair Siddons (from a story by Evan Daugherty and Geneva Robertson-Dworet). Directed by Roar Uthaug (that’s a name, not a sound effect).

 

 

 

 

PROS:

  • Let’s start with the obvious: though the action isn’t non-stop, there’s tons to go around, and the scenes are pretty exciting, thrilling, suspenseful and well-executed. A few are quite original and entertaining (watch for the rapids scene, where things just keep getting worse).

  • Special effects are mostly in the sets and action and most look very convincing; at no time was I taken out of the scene by anything blatant. The stunts are still amazing, including a couple Indiana Jones moments. The amount of time, effort and people-power involved had to be massive.
  • Nice cameos by Derek Jacobi (from the hilarious VICIOUS sitcom) as a corporate attorney and Nick Frost (HOT FUZZ, etc., uncredited) as a pawn shop owner.

 

  • Casting: Vikander, while no Angelina, is still hot-worthy and tough as teflon-coated Vibranium nails. She gets bruised, beaten, punched, kicked, shot and stabbed but never gives up. West is the perfect British business Dad. The bad guy is quite hate-able and well-played by Walter Goggins (various Tarantino films and a bunch of TV stuff). Daniel Wu is a good drunken sailor-turned loyal friend.
  • Story is straight and easy to follow. High personal and global stakes (of course). A couple twists that aren’t complicated.
  • Special kudos for a worthy punishment for those that deserve it!
  • The scene after the main title at the end has a nice setup for a sequel.


CONS:

  • Slower to develop than most other video game flicks. More of an origin story of how Croft becomes a tomb raider rather than starting in mid-adventure with things assumed and history revealed later. And a little too much (and repeated) exposition.

  • SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF DEPT: This is based on a video game where the character never dies, no matter what happens to her. Same with the movie. Forget that she’s supposed to be a normal young woman wearing only a tank top and shorts and think of her more as Wonder Woman with hiking boots. In filmland, you can receive homemade stitches for a gaping puncture wound but no antibiotics for infection in a filthy environment, rest for an evening, then run, jump and battle like normal the next day!

  • WTF/LAZY SCRIPT DEPARTMENT: Once scene makes zero sense. No spoilers, but if you’re hidden, armed and alone with the bad guy and everything you need is in the room, it might be a good idea to take him out then, instead of watching him walk away to do a lot more bad stuff! (Of course, if you did, you couldn’t have a big climax. Writers!

  • While skinny, normal-lipped and proportioned Vikander is no slouch, she’s no pouty, big-eyed Angelina (even if the latter had to wear a padded bra in her version).

  • Instead of the trademark motorcycle or handguns, we only get a bicycle and bow & arrow.
  • When you visit an ancient tomb, bring large amounts of Purell. Yechhh…

 

OVERALL RATING:

Bru's Reviews - RENT IT

RENT IT!

This Tomb Raider is definitely entertaining and exciting. I just don’t know if it’s “necessary.” As a non-gamer, I don’t know if TR is super-popular like it was at the turn of the century but I haven’t seen or heard anything about it like I have with Warcraft, Halo, Grand Theft Auto, etc. The action and effects are of course more engrossing and thrilling on the giant screen, but unless you’re a major fan of the game or Vikander, you can save your dough for spectaculars like READY PLAYER ONE or AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR. Still, this is fun and I would see a sequel.

 

Later,
Bru

 

P.S.: You know who’s great at making you a Tomb Raider of your own? That monkey Pascale that draws me and types for me. He can pencil or ink a nice and hot Alicia or Angelina for a nice and hot price. Just ask Craig here!

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed here are not those of Wednesday’s Heroes, Mike Pascale, Croft Holdings, Trinity Corporation, Crystal Dynamics, Square Enix, ancient Japanese mummies, evil corporate thugs, British explorers or the UK Bike Messengers Association. If Bru-Hed were an explorer, he’d call himself the Womb Raider…and never find treasure.
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