Bru’s Reviews: I, FRANKENSTEIN, YOU ENTERTAINED January 28, 2014 – Posted in: Blog, Bru's Reviews, Featured Columns
All original written content is (c) 2014 Mike Pascale. Visual content is (c) its respective owners. Bru-Hed is a trademark of All Ages Media and Mike Pascale.
THIS WEEK: Another comic-book/graphic novel adaptation comes to the screen: Kevin Grevioux’s I, FRANKENSTEIN. (Monster as action hero!) Fans should remember Grevioux from the UNDERWORLD franchise: he both co-wrote and starred in the franchise. Gargoyles vs. Demons and Frankenstein’s monster (now named Adam) is caught in the middle and kicking butt on both sides. Played straight.
- No shortage of fight scenes or action. Furious fighting with more uncommon weapons and tactics: metal staffs, battle axes and winged gargoyles keep the scenes from being carbon copies of other fight flicks.
- As is normal for these types of movies, the effects are neat. Specifically, the way the gargoyles change to humans and the demons change from human to demon form; plus the way demons and gargoyles bite it (“descend” and “ascend,” respectfully). Cliche for some, but cool to me. I’m easy.
- Aaron Eckhart as an action hero is as odd as Frankenstein’s critter doing martial arts. But he definitely buffed out for this, so it kinda works. Even if you hate it, you gotta admit Frank has never been shown in this way in his 100-plus-year film history.
- Cool sets, from the giant gothic gargoyle HQ to the Demon tech lab and bottomless basement “storage vault” (hey, no spoilers).
- [Nerd-boy Mike says: Nice to see a fellow comic geek like Grevioux not only credited with co-story and Exec Producer credit, but also as one of the stars. (Head of security, Dekar–like you could miss him! With his size and so-deep-it-makes-James-Earl-Jones-sound-like-Justin-Bieber voice, he stands out in any film.) Not your average comic creator: From a degree in microbiology and graduate work in genetic engineering to comics and movies? That’s either a dream or a nightmare depending on your POV. (But thanks to UNDERWORLD’s success, he makes way more than any biologist or genetic engineer! Also explains his approach to vampirism and lycanthropy as chemical-based in that franchise.)]
- Female scientist YvonneStrahovski from TV’s CHUCK has a nice butt and is easy on the eyes, even if she looks a bit unlike “one of the top experts in physiobiology” or whatever scientist title. (The hot pic of her here ain’t from the flick, but who cares?)
- Bill Nighy (also in UNDERWORLD, plus the HARRY POTTER films and PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN and a gazillion others) always makes a good bad guy, even when he’s phoning it in.
- Film moves pretty quickly; not two hours, nor does it feel like it.
- Not too much depth to Frankie. Granted, he doesn’t have a soul, but there’s a lot that was probably explored in the graphic novel…or could be, that wasn’t here. Frankly (pun intended–HA!), there wasn’t much depth to any of the characters, but that is not why you see this type of film, is it? There are plenty of pathos pics adapted from Mary Shelly’s classic out there if ya want ‘em.
- Apparently the guys who designed the character weren’t doctors or didn’t care much about common sense. I still don’t get why so many Frankenstein monsters look like they’re sewed like quilts put together by drunken seamstresses. I ain’t no surgeon but even *I* know you don’t just cut willy-nilly when operating or dissecting cadavers! I guess the designers think it looks cool…but that’s debatable. And if Eckhart is supposed to be “stitched together from parts of dead people” as said in the film, why is every body part perfectly toned in unison? It would be more accurate and cooler to see someone with truly patchwork skin–part of a black guy, white guy, smooth, hairy, muscular, thin, fat, old, young, and so on. Although maybe they didn’t have enough dough for that kind of stuff.
- Queen of the Gargoyle Order makes really bad decisions. If she were coaching an NFL team, the Jacksonville Jaguars wouldn’t want her.
- Could have used some more humor. Only funny part was when the science lady found out that Frankie’s story was true.
A perfect “popcorn film.” Because it was just like a nice bucket of corn: light and airy, tasty, enjoyable for a bit, not too bad for ya. You enjoy it as a snack but won’t remember much of it. I had low expectations and wasn’t disappointed. Critics and high-brows will hate it, but they ain’t the intended audience. Will do better on DVD than in theaters. It’s open for sequels, so maybe if it makes enough they have plenty of room to improve.
NOTE: I’ll be takin’ next week off to enjoy and recover from the Super Bowl, so I’ll see ya in two weeks unless I get ambitious and see something sooner. GO HAWKS!!
P.S.: Pascale will also be off next week but is still accepting orders for cool commissions. He does a mean Frank and other monsters, too. Just ask Craig here!
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed by Bru’s Reviews are not necessarily those of Wednesday’s Heroes, Mike Pascale, or anyone living, dead, undead, immortal or anywhere in-between. Go read the graphic novel and support yer fellow geeks!